Monday, 25 August 2014

Bishop William Richardson

As you will all be aware, we had to expel Bishop Richardson from the Society of Such Pious Gents a few years ago. Some of you may be asking what are the main theological differences between the Society of Such Pious Gents and Bishop Richardson. It all began a few years ago when I had talks with Rome about the possibility of the Society of Such Pious Gents entering into communion with the Pope. In the event, the Society didn't enter into communion with the Pope, but the fact that there may have even been a possibility that we did so was a compromise too far for Bishop Richardson. This however is the opposite to the Church's teaching. Pope Leo XIII taught that it was absolutely necessary for bishops to be in communion with the Pope (Satis Cognitum, 1896). Whilst we're not in communion with the Pope, we're not as 'not in communion' as Bishop Richardson. We're only not in communion with the Pope because of the crisis in the Church.

Saturday, 26 July 2014

Should women wear trousers?

On a recent visit to London I noticed an advertisement on the London Underground for Amnesty International, a charity which campaigns against torture - and I don't mean sitting through a novus ordo folk Mass for two hours. Anyway, the poster concerned a lady who was sentenced to stoning for wearing trousers (pants for my American readers!). At first I thought she might be a follower of Bishop William Richardson's new sect, but it turns out it relates to a case in an Islamic country in Africa. I am often asked whether it is permissible for traditional Catholics to wear trousers. Some people take a relaxed view on the matter. They say that it doesn't matter whether a woman wears a skirt or trousers - it's what's underneath that's important. I'm afraid we in the Society of Such Pious Gents cannot take such a liberal view. For us, a trousered woman is basically saying she doesn't really want to be a woman, she wants to be a man, it's a slippery slope to feminism and transgenderism. Whilst, of course, I don't advocate stoning, I suggest that any woman turning up to one of our Mass centres wearing trousers should spend a few months in our mission in Kabul.

Sunday, 6 April 2014

What is schism?

A young man recently stopped me and asked a couple of questions: Does the Society of Such Pious Gents submit to the authority of the Pope? No, I said, because the Pope's a modernist. He then said: "Is the Society of Such Pious Gents in communion with those subject to the authority of the Pope? No, I said again, because they are modernists as well. He then quoted from the Code of Canon Law: "schism is the refusal of submission to the Roman Pontiff or of communion with the members of the Church subject to him". Yet, he said, you claim the Society of Such Pious Gents is not schismatic. Young man, I replied, you are ignoring that small, but all-important word 'or'. Canon Law defines schism as "the refusal of submission to the Roman Pontiff OR of communion with the members of the Church subject to him. The Society of Such Pious Gents, on the other hand, refuses submission to the Roman Pontiff AND refuses communion with the members of the Church subject to him. The Society of Such Pious Gents cannot, therefore, be guilty of schism as defined in Canon Law. This isn't the first time I have had to defend the Society from the false accusation of schism and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Sunday, 2 February 2014

Babies at Mass - Volunteers needed

It has come to my attention that in many of our Mass centres, young babies are being brought to Mass. There is of course nothing wrong with being a baby - in fact Our Lord came to earth as a baby. Unfortunately, the behaviour of these babies leaves a lot to be desired - crying, talking, burping etc. Given that the mothers of these young children are clearly incapable of looking after their tots, I would like to appoint a group of volunteers to help restore order. Volunteers must be female, at least 75 years old, but must refrain from actually saying anything to the mothers. Acceptable methods include staring, snarling, hissing and if that doesn't work, snapping fingers and pointing to the exit door. With a 'Mantilla the Hun' in every parish, this infantile anarchy will be a thing of the past!

Friday, 3 January 2014

Linen on the Hedgerow: A Sunshine Award

LINEN ON THE HEDGEROW: A Sunshine Award I am pleased to advise that this blog has won an award from the Linen on the Hounslow blog. I would like to thank Mr Hounslow on behalf of all supporters of the Society of Such Pious Gents.